Critic’s Family Restaurant
20 N Main St Honeoye Falls, NY 14472
The thing about breakfast food is that it’s hard to screw up, and that it’s best eaten at times other than breakfast, especially if by “times other than breakfast” you mean “lunch.” The thing about diners is that they often serve good breakfast food at times other than what most people consider “breakfast.” The thing about me is that, ever since I discovered American-style diners, I’ve had a really strange affection for them, considering I didn’t grow up with such places.
So, a few weeks ago, the Chopper (formerly known as Agent M, until a certain Shield writer ruined that) and I crossed the formidable Genesee and went to this nice little eatery in Honeoye Falls to have a nice, down-home breakfast and some time away from my owner and soulholder other employer, the Morales, whose tastes could best be described as “ridiculous,” and less well as “simple.”
Now, the Chopper and I are both fans of savory breakfast foods, a la Ron Swanson, but we had promised ourselves we would try something sweet as well. Thus we ended up with steak and eggs, blueberry pancakes with sausage on the side, and toast.
None of it was fancy, but it was all enjoyable. The breakfast potatoes – which are a tough dish – grew on me after the first couple bites. The seasoning was there, but I think the potatoes needed a little more of it. The steak was cooked exactly how I wanted it, and very tender; the Chopper and I both enjoyed it. I admit that, after a while, I took the “steak and eggs” name a little literally and essentially mixed myself some scrambled eggs with steak and a little bit of A1, but those were enjoyable as well.
The blueberry pancakes, which I’d had before, were once again great. The fruit is nice and sweet, the dough is fairly fluffy, which is not a dead cert in diners, and the pancakes respond very well to the proper condiment: butter.
Not maple syrup? No. Maple syrup is, at best, a distant third to butter and butter pecan syrup, whose rarity in this state I (and the Chopper) find a deplorable travesty and possibly the source of Western New York’s winter depression.
You’ll note that the best two things to put on your pancakes both have “butter” in the name. I doubt this is a coincidence.
It was very nicely buttered, but I mean, it’s toast. What do you want?
The only thing I haven’t pictured here was the coffee, which was nice and dark and – most importantly – smooth. Our cups were always full and we were amply stocked with half-and-half and sweeteners galore, and we very much enjoyed the go juice with our meals.
So, if you’re on the west side and you feel like a filling breakfast without fancy adjectives, stop by Critic’s and have yourself a meal. I plan on going back for an actual lunch soon.
It seems to be a trend these days to take an old animated classic and turn it into a new, hip live-action movie, because animators in Hollywood are really getting too much work these days. Disney is the main proponent of this method, with movies like Maleficent and Cinderella. Although these movies have met with commercial success, they weren’t quite capturing that Disney magic. But it seems that Disney is learning from their mistakes, because the most recent submission to this live-action sub-genre, The Jungle Book, embodies the charm of the classic animation and builds on it, for one of the year’s most exciting and refreshing offerings so far.
I must start off by clarifying that this film is in fact considered a live-action interpretation of the animated classic, but in reality the only live-action aspect of the film is our young protagonist, Mowgli, played by Neel Sethi. Everything else in the movie; every animal, every set-piece is all CGI. As somewhat of a cinema purist, movies with virtually no practical effects worry me, but the computer animation in this film is gorgeous. I never doubted that Mowgli wasn’t really in the jungle, or really in the grasp of a hundred-foot snake.
Now as for the characters, both real and animated, starting with Neel Sethi as Mowgli. He was pretty good, especially considering that in his film debut he was wearing nothing but a loincloth. He was perfectly serviceable, but I was never blown away by anything he did. And then there’s the voice cast, which is arguably one of the greatest ever assembled: Bill Murray as Baloo, Ben Kingsley as Bagheera the panther, Idris Elba as Shere Khan the tiger, and Christopher Walken as King Louie. Every single one of these performances were perfect. Ben Kingsley as a wise panther? Idris Elba as a terrifying tiger, Christopher Walken as a giant primate? And Bill freaking Murray as a lazy bear obsessed with honey?! All of these castings make so much sense it makes my head hurt. Okay, the Christopher Walken one was a little weird, but it works. Shere Khan was perhaps the best villain of the year so far; he was actually very scary. A few six-year-olds started crying in the theater at the sight of this guy. And Bill Murray’s portrayal of Baloo was so perfect, it was impossible not to grin from ear to ear at his rendition of the Bare Necessities.
The film was directed by Jon Favreau, who I think is kinda underrated today. He made the right calls on where to stay true to the original animation, or book, and where to add or explain more. There isn’t a lot of fat on this movie, meaning there’s nothing there that shouldn’t be. It tells a good story, keeps you entertained for an hour or two, and then lets you go. He did not do a lot wrong with this.
So The Jungle Book has redeemed Disney in the live-action remake department and I’m excited to see what they’ll do next.
(Note: This really is not part of the review, but I felt like I should include this as a Public Service Announcement. The next live-action remake is Beauty and the Beast. It has at least five Oscar winners on the cast and the word on the street is that it might be an Oscar-getter. Sorry for this interruption, but I think everyone should have that on their radar.)
Rating: I have found that people do not really relate to numerical ratings so I will be trying out my own personal scale.
The Jungle Book is like having brunch with Stanley Tucci.
The first single that M83 has officially released after their LEGENDARY 2011 album, Hurry Up We’re Dreaming, “Do It, Try It” shows off a more upbeat, quirky side of the French electronic band. While their new album Junk didn’t quite live up to the expectations created by their previous effort, its lead single is guaranteed to make you want to get up and dance. (How you dance to it, though, is totally up to interpretation.) It sounds like a pure, 80’s space jam that could easily be played over the opening credits of Saturday Night Fever. Yeah, it’s that cool.
HIP-HOP – “Kevin” by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (feat. Leon Bridges)
Is it time to take Macklemore seriously? Well, if you’ve taken a listen to his latest album, This Unruly Mess I’ve Made, the answer is most definitely yes. While Macklemore still shows off his fun side on more upbeat songs, tracks like “Kevin” prove to the listener that he is actually a skilled writer and can really make a statement. This selection (featuring a Shield Mixtape favorite, Leon Bridges) boasts a deep and thought-provoking reflection on drugs and medication in America. Macklemore raps about one of his best friends who overdosed on prescription drugs, calling out our medical system and crying for change. “First dealer was his mom’s medicine cabinet!” Looking at new Macklemore tracks like “Kevin” (and older ones such as “Same Love”), it’s clear that he’s ready to be taken seriously in the hip-hop world.
INDIE – “South” by Hippo Campus
Minneapolis’ own Hippo Campus finds their place in the indie scene with “South.” The title track off their new EP, “South” is everything that an indie pop/rock band aspires to be. Catchy and upbeat enough to be played on the radio, yet deep and minimalistic enough to be hidden from the mainstream masses. Add this one to your summer driving playlist!
POP – “Boyfriend” by Tegan and Sara
Beloved Canadian duo, Tegan and Sara, are back with a new single! “Boyfriend” boasts an unapologetic, bubblegum pop beat. Tegan and Sara have always made perfect pop music, and on “Boyfriend” they prove themselves worthy once again. This track is lyrically about one of Sara’s female lovers who doesn’t quite understand her sexuality yet, and ends up treating Sara like a boyfriend rather than embracing their new relationship. “I don’t want to be your secret anymore.” But watch out, the chorus is going to get stuck in your head for at least 2 weeks!
R&B/SOUL – “Bone + Tissue” by Gallant
Gallant has graced our Mixtapes here at the Shield multiple times, yet he has never released an album . . . until now! Gallant’s debut work, Ology, is finally out. One of the best albums of the year so far, it boasts some incredible tracks. My personal favorite, “Bone + Tissue,” is a genre-defying trip through Gallant’s subconscious fears. He is searching for something more than just existence, he wants to be godly. He wants to amount to something more than just skin and bones, and this electric R&B track perfectly captures the essence of this fire inside of him. Gallant really is one of the best musicians to grace the scene so far this decade, his vocals are incredible, his lyrics are pointed, and his musical production is flawless. Pick up a copy of Ology and see for yourself!
FOLK – “Only” by RY X
RY X, indie folk’s new king of sadness, has announced a new album and released its lead single, “Only.” This track is the type of song that only comes around once in a while, drawing you in and making you feel every single bit of emotion inside your heart. With ambience in the background, prominent acoustic guitar, and RY X’s signature reverted vocals, “Only” could very well be the soundtrack to any breakup in the books, or just the background music at the end of a very bad day.
ROCK – “Amerika” by Young the Giant
“Are you paying attention?” Young the Giant adds to the list of amazing bands who are back making music this Spring with “Amerika.” The track boasts loud vibraphones and a deep, rumbling beat over lyrics that seem to criticize the modern American dream. Young the Giant take light jabs at rich-kid culture and the seeming lack of ethics in our nation. The lyrics are subtle, yet so powerful. Nothing less than what’s expected from YtG!
THROWBACK – “Anarchy in the U.K.” by Sex Pistols
So Record Store Day was this past Saturday, and I found myself camped out at the Record Archive at 7 A.M. to see which special vinyl releases I could snag from the massive crowd of people in the store. I passed by a bin of special picture discs of Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols and decided to pick one up for myself. I’d never even heard the classic album before, but after a good listen when I got home, I fell in love. “Anarchy in the U.K.” is the ULTIMATE teen angst song. It’s aggressive, it’s badass, it’s everything a pissed-off teen needs in their record collection.
DISCOVERY – “If Not For My Glasses” by Dear and the Headlights
How is this song not more popular? “If Not For My Glasses” is one of the best indie rock songs I’ve ever heard, yet I was lucky enough to have it scrape across my computer screen while shuffling through Spotify. It’s reminiscent, it’s longing, it’s triumphant, while at the same time being happy and upbeat. Dear and the Headlights are close to perfection with this deep cut.
When people saw the Rogue One trailer, it left them psyched, if not initially confused. The very first trailer for the very first Star Wars anthology spin-off has arrived and it’s a doozy, filled with all kinds of incredible imagery, promising characters, and, for the lack of a more elegant phrase, really cool stuff! This movie has been living in Rumor Town ever since it was announced back in May 2014, but now we can finally break this trailer down piece-by-piece, frame-by-frame, and find out what was really fact, what might be crap, and what is complete and utter bantha poodoo. Let’s do this.
One word of warning: this article will dive into various Internet rumors that have circulated this project for the past year. I recommend bringing salt along for this particular journey.
The first thing that hits you when you start watching this trailer is the music. Yeah, it’s a variation on an iconic John Williams track (Skywalker’s Theme), but it’s been modified just enough to evoke all kinds of new feelings. It’s melancholy, eerie and sinister, setting the mood for a film that looks ready to explore the dark and grimy underbelly of the Star Wars universe. It’s not clear if this is from Alexandre Desplat’s actual score or not, but it’s an indicator that the music is in fine hands, even as Williams himself steps away from the series. Will Desplat utilize the themes our ears have come to expect from such a film, or will he go off-book?
The opening shot itself is simple enough: Felicity Jones’ character is marched through a Rebel base by some classic Rebel soldiers wearing those dumb bucket-head helmets. We first saw these uniforms in the opening scene of A New Hope, when these guys acted as the last line of defense between Darth Vader and Princess Leia and got ruthlessly slaughtered by Stormtroopers.
We hear her interrogated by a higher up: “State your name for the record.” Does this opening exchange sound familiar? Think back to the opening of Ocean’s Eleven, when an off-camera voice asks Danny Ocean to do the same thing. As Rogue One has been described as a Star Wars heist film will feature a band of misfits I don’t think this is an accident. Anyway here we finally learn our protagonist’s name: Jyn Erso. Now that is a Star Wars name! As we see more of this base, it becomes clear that this is the Massassi Temple on Yavin IV that the Rebels hid in during A New Hope, complete with the War Room, its glowing table, and all those green-lined plexiglass screens. Great set design!
Hey, you know who grew up on Yavin IV? Poe Dameron, though I’m not going to pretend I think Jyn is his mom because the comics have already revealed that character to be Shara Bey. Oh, and also, a Gonk Droid and an R4 unit have been sighted [yes!]. Loving this Original Trilogy goofiness! Here’s our first sighting of a re-cast original trilogy character. That is quite clearly Mon Mothma, the Rebel diplomat and leader. We learn that Jyn has been on her own since age fifteen, she’s reckless, aggressive, and undisciplined, and happens to have committed a litany of anti-Imperial felonies ranging from stealing Imperial documents to aggravated assault. In other words, she’s one tough cookie who doesn’t care for authority. She certainly sounds like the kind of person you want resisting the Empire, and if this is a job interview, it sounds like Jyn is well-suited to lead a suicide mission to steal the plans for the Death Star.
And how about that look that Jyn shoots Diego Luna’s character, who I’ve heard is named Cassien Willix. Oh, and that bejeweled plate on his jacket isn’t just for awesome retro flare, that is a Rebel captain’s insignia. Lurking in the shadowy background off to Mon Mothma’s right, there’s General Jan Dodonna, whom you may recognize as the old bearded guy who breaks down the Death Star assault in Episode IV. As Jyn fires back at Mon Mothma, we see just how tough she is, beating up a whole gang of Stormtroopers on a Tatooine-like desert environment with a baton and blaster. Based on the moisture vaporators we see, I might say this is Jakku or Tatooine, but the palm trees and water later on in the trailer suggest otherwise. Jyn seems to be a very different flavor of heroine from The Force Awakens’ Rey – rough and vicious and ready to fight dirty. She doesn’t look ready to embark on a Hero’s Journey as much as she looks ready to blow everything up and punch the survivors in the face.
Oh, and did you catch those big ol’ robot limbs behind Jyn? They’re out of focus and mostly obscured, but this is very likely Alan Tudyk’s motion capture character, an Imperial assault droid repurposed for the Rebel Alliance. He pops up again at the end of the trailer as our characters are running through what looks like an Imperial subway station, perhaps on the Death Star itself. The fight with the Stormtroopers is broken up by an explosion possibly set off by a shadowy figure on a balcony above. The blast takes out the Stormtroopers attacking Jyn and Cassien, but it also takes them by surprise. Could this be Mads Mikkelsen’s rumored character Galen: an imprisoned scientist who helped develop the technology for the Death Star, then had a change of heart causing him to defect to the Rebel Alliance. The same rumors have pegged Galen as Jyn’s father, though, that would be odd, considering that she’s allegedly been alone since fifteen. Other rumors say her whole grudge against the Empire comes from them killing her parents, so . . . is it possible that her father wasn’t killed, but rather kidnapped, and we’ll see some sort of “I am your father” reveal? Could this be why Jyn was chosen for this mission by the Rebels, despite being uncontrollable? Well, that would certainly be like Star Wars.
Then we get a subtle shot that really sells the “war movie” claims, evocative of a soldier riding through a desert landscape in a dusty Humvee. The look of determination and fear on Jyn’s face as she takes off in this ship sell the horrors of war more than a dozen explosions. But explosions do help, and this trailer has quite a few, though, of course, Gareth Edwards isn’t Michael Bay. There won’t be any Jedi coming to the rescue this time, and this is really the only Star Wars trailer without a single lightsaber.
And now there’s a pristine Star Destroyer flying past the Death Star! The reveal of the Death Star, at it emerges from the shadows alongside a fleet of Star Destroyers, is stunning. If there’s one thing Edwards has always been good at (and it’s on full display in Monsters and Godzilla), it’s a sense of scale. He makes the Death Star look as daunting as we expect. Its eye gets lowered into place, presumably completing its construction after we saw it being built and eyeless at the end of Episode III. We know exactly what this weapon does and it’s downright terrifying. Unlike J.J. Abrams, however, Edwards is free to create a new tone that is different from the main series. Seeing these images in service of a story that looks unlike anything we’ve seen before in a Star Wars movie is truly exciting.
As Jyn accepts her mission to steal the Death Star plans, we kick into one heck of an action montage scored to the Imperial klaxon we’ve heard before in the original trilogy. Next is your Rebel hero shot: Jyn, Cassien, ground troops, and X-Wing pilots all organize for . . . something. You just know it’s something fun and happy. Rebels have a habit of, you know, dying. We also have our first look at the main villain of the movie, an Imperial commander played by Ben Mendelsohn. We don’t know his name or his title, but we do know that he’s achieved a high enough rank that he can wear all white and a cape. If you take a closer look, you’ll note that the rank on his chest has as many boxes as Grand Moff Tarkin’s, but the red row lies over the blue row, while Tarkin’s rank was signified by a blue row over a red and yellow row. In any case, we can safely assume that this guy is a serious Imperial bigwig and that he won’t get taken down easily. Considering the plot of the movie, we can even assume that he’s the guy in charge of Death Star construction. We may not see him fight, but it’s safe to assume he’s a pretty formidable foe.
Rogue One introduces a whole bunch of Stormtroopers, too. Sure, there’s your classic, standard vanilla trooper, but there’s hover-tank troopers, those cool new black-helmeted troopers, desert/scarab troopers, and more! This, of course, means more products and toys for Lucasfilm to make money, but we love ’em anyways.
When that Imperial klaxon finally quiets down (but doesn’t shut off) we hear Forest Whitaker ask, “what will you do?” He’s supposedly a criminal whose body has been ravaged by war and has been pegged as a mentor figure for Jyn. He is walking with a cane and wearing a respirator, so it’s safe to bet that those rumors are true. Whitaker continues with “when they catch you?” as we see a rather grim image of Rebel prisoners of war beaten and bloodied, being led through some sort of market.
There are three things to take away from this shot. First, that line of Rebel prisoners is a reminder that Rogue One looks to be a harsher movie than the rest of the Star Wars series, examining what actually goes into launching a rebellion against a overly powerful and sinister force. Second, that Stormtrooper is wearing a black shoulder pad, which probably means something. Third, this scene takes place in a crowded market, which means Edwards is going to get to fill the frame with all kinds of aliens and creatures and whatnot. Every Star Wars movie needs its Cantina scene.
“What will they do when they break you?” Whitaker asks as we see Jyn, Cassien, and the Imperial droid racing through the subway-like transportation station. During this scene, it appears that Jyn has the plans already in her hands. And then the most exciting image of the trailer for martial arts fans: Donnie Yen beating up a bunch of Stormtroopers. We don’t know the character’s name, but since he’s played by Donnie Yen, we know that he’s most likely totally awesome. As noted in the first cast photo, his character is blind . . . but he is armed with a staff. This is probably why the Stormtroopers make the mistake of underestimating him before he wallops them. There appears to be a parachute near the downed X-wing, and the Stormtroopers are probably after whoever jettisoned themselves from the craft. Look, if you haven’t seen any Donnie Yen movies, you should fix that right now. Start with Ip Man. Then you’ll realize why I’m so excited to watch this guy decimate Stormtroopers in a Star Wars movie. The other figures in the background have similar garb as, leading me to believe that they are part of the same religious/warrior order he is.
And back to that beach battle, where our ragtag group of Rebel soldiers and supposed weapons master Jiang Wen run toward an AT-AT with the plans in tow. Wen doesn’t get a name or line of dialogue, but he does get a cool moment where he runs toward the camera while things explode around him. Early rumors suggested that he plays a bounty hunter who joins the Rebel cause and his heavily scuffed armor certainly makes him look the part. Remember how we talked about Gareth Edwards understanding the importance of scale? Well, he really, really understands the importance of scale. This is a downright incredible shot, a terrifying look at what it must feel like to be an under-equipped freedom fighter in a war against an enemy who can throw AT-AT walkers at you. (Yeah, these are used before Episode V, deal with it. They also have them in the animated series, Star Wars: Rebels.) Also, note the tropical surroundings – this appears to be from the same scene glimpsed earlier in the trailer.
Finally, there’s a couple of cryptic shots we’d love to know about. First, a mysterious black-cloaked figure kneeling before what looks to be a bacta tank, flanked by the Emperor’s Royal Red Guards tasked with protecting Palpatine himself! This is similar to what Luke was healing in during Episode V. Is this the Emperor, Snoke – heck, maybe that’s Vader in there! We know he’ll be appearing during the movie in some form. Perhaps Ben Mendelsohn’s character sustains some injuries from combat? I mean, we did see that four-winged Imperial transporter explode in the beach battle scene, but that did require the presence of the mystery villain himself. Since the sun is setting and the ground is littered with the corpses of Stormtroopers, it looks like he’s surveying the aftermath of a battle that his forces lost on that Vietnam-esque planet. The most important thing to talk about here is how he manages to keep that white cape clean, especially since he’s obviously not shy about letting it drag all over the place. The Empire must have the best dry cleaners in the galaxy.
Perhaps the bigger question is, who is in that black cape? It doesn’t look like Mendelsohn’s character either, unless he has a variety of differently-colored cloaks and capes that he wears for different situations. Discuss this one amongst yourselves. My best bet is that it’s Mads Mikkelsen’s character, coming to commune with his villainous leaders who’ve maybe caught wind of his flip-flopping ways.
And finally, the last shot of the teaser pans out as Whitaker asks, “If you continue to fight, what will you become?” We see Jyn in a TIE Fighter pilot uniform. Does this line imply her sympathy for the Dark Side, or is she just in Imperial disguise? I’m guessing that, in the grand Star Wars tradition, it’s the latter. But are those batons on her back? Those could lead to some sick fight scenes. Whitaker’s final words echo away with the faint sound of Darth Vader’s breathing rasping over them. This of course suits the lilting piano playing of the Imperial March over Rogue One‘s title treatment.
What do you guys think? Are you pumped for Rogue One now? Did you catch anything I missed? I’ll see you in the comments and we can discuss!
Welcome to the Euler’s-number-th issue of the Shield!
While I usually hope that you read every article we publish, I must emphatically request that you do so this time. You see, these are all from the Shield’s Class of 2016 members, our senior members of the Shieldwall, whose service over the yeras has been a real boon to one extremely irritable extradimensional creature, and, perhaps, to its slightly less irritable servant.
We’re always looking for new writers – sports, technology, video games, news, what have you, we’d be glad to have you on board! Just drop us a line. Any and all questions about becoming part of the staff, submitting an article, or the Shield in general, can be directed to the strange creature that lives in Room 252 and answers to “the Morales.”
Students at McQuaid have heard from many different teachers about the right way to act in school. Many of the students go by these rules and have no problems.
However, the few that try to slide around these rules often hear the three-letter word McQuaid students dread – JUG. Those students who do something wrong are punished in JUG by writing out the definitions of what it takes to be a true McQuaid student. This video was put together to show what you should not do at McQuaid, if you don’t want to hear that three-letter word coming your way.
Step 1: A classic way to make fun of a kid in the hallways, but a great way to get yourself in JUG.
Step 2: If you do this in front of a teacher, especially in front of Mr. Varrasso, be prepared for a JUG and a body slam.
Step 3: Always stay in dress code! Dr. Parks can snipe a top button being undone from a mile away.
Step 4: Bring writing utensils to class! Don’t be that guy that steals a pencil.
Step 5: Definitely do not cheat. This will lead to JUG or even worse consequences.
Step 6: Don’t be a slob, especially in the bathroom. Other people use it and would like to be in a “clean” environment.
Step 7: Don’t copy other’s homework; be a man and do your own. It’s the best way to get to know the information.
Step 8: Don’t use your phone during Mass. Your text messages and Snapchats can wait.
Step 9: When you borrow someone’s gold card, don’t steal it. Return it.
Step 10: Don’t take something that isn’t yours. Do the right thing.
Special thanks to Nick Gilbert ’16, who helped put this video together, and all the teachers and students who helped make this video possible.
Although it does not surpass the 2010 masterpiece Yogi Bear, Kung Fu Panda 3 stands on its own as one of the top pieces of talking-bear cinema in existence. I say it stands alone not only because the film is powerful enough to establish a presence in the annals of animated history without Kung Fu Panda or Kung Fu Panda 2, but also because I have not seen Kung Fu Panda or Kung Fu Panda 2. Luckily, I was nevertheless able to follow the movie and develop an impression of the work as an individual chapter, unsullied by the tremendous success and popularity of the saga as a whole.
A film Roger Ebert probably would have described as “a light-hearted, entertaining journey through China, through families, and through friendships”, KFP3, as it is so often referred to, begins in the spiritual realm. Crush the turtle, of Finding Nemo fame, has finally found inner peace in Kung-Fu mastery after roaming the waters of the East Australian Current restlessly for hundreds of years. Now known as Master Oogway, Crush loses a battle to his rival and former brother in arms, Kai, a Tibetan yak. Incidentally, yak hair is used to make tassels for ornamental pillows. Kai uses Oogway’s powers, along with the powers of other Masters he has vanquished, to travel to the land of the living, where he continues to defeat earthly Masters, absorbing their powers (chi) to become even stronger. Meanwhile, Po discovers an ancient panda village and much along with it, including long-lost family, and the mysterious ability to control chi. Will Po be able to stop the force of evil from destroying his peaceful way of life? Well, it’s a children’s movie, so obviously.
Grab life by the dumplings. See Kung Fu Panda 3 in theaters. Buy it on DVD, Blu-Ray, VHS, Betamax, or laserdisc. Watch it whenever. Never stop watching it. Never.
Today I thought I’d talk about one of the things that made competitive Smash Bros. a reality, where people can play a game they love, and meet people whose relationships will last a lifetime, all while making a living off of it. What I mean, of course, is eSports teams. There’s dozens, if not hundreds, of them, sponsoring players around the world to fly them to tournaments, hotel fees, and general support. Some of the huge ones have been around for years, like Liquid, team of choice for HungryBox, and Chillindude, or Cloud9, who’s sponsored Mang0 for as long as I can remember. However, there’s a more recent team that’s been gaining success in the last few months, sponsoring top level competitors and proving itself to be just as serious about gaming as all the big leagues. The team I’m going to tell you about today is Panda Global Gaming, sponsor of many top names in Smash, from Plup, to MVD, to ESAM.
Panda Global Gaming
Now, if you walked up to me in the street and asked me my opinion on the latest blockbuster hit sensation, Kung Fu Panda 3, I’d go off on a tangent that could very well last the rest of the day. Right from the start of it, we were reminded of where it all began; Master Oogway’s battle with Kai, the movie’s main villain, to steal his chi, whatever the Hell that means. Oogway warns Kai, and, more importantly, the audience, that the master of the chi will defeat him. Already we’ve received foreshadowing of the unmatchable standards of this thrill-a-minute film.
Who is this “master of the chi” Oogway warns us about? You guessed it! It’s Po, the plucky, devoted, and, might I add, portly panda. In fact, you might even say this panda is shaped like a globe, strange of a comparison that may be. Although it does emphasize the fact that the world rests on his shoulders.
Of course, amid all this action, Po manages to find time for the one thing your family of five wants more than anything: family relations. With Shifu essentially retiring from position of . . . Kung Fu Red Panda, I guess would be his title . . . and most of the other Furious Five members off to gather intel on Kai, Po is left with none other than his dad to trust for help. No, not the dippy bird. His actual, biological dad. Another panda. This, of course, was the ending of Kung Fu Panda 2. This circular plot pattern is what really makes Kung Fu Panda 3 what it is, as it brings the audience back around to experience not just the newfound sensations of 3, but also the memories left behind in 2.
But what did I personally think of Kung Fu Panda 3, you ask. Well, for me, I’d give it a solid 9/10. Where did this nonstop, action-packed, fur-flinging adventure lose points? What possible flaw was there to find? How can I possibly have anything negative to say about the movie of the year? Why do I keep asking your questions for you?
Well, the lost point was actually just a safety cushion. After all, without ever having actually seen the movie, it’s hard to make such consistently accurate claims.
So yes, I’d recommend Kung Fu Panda 3 to a friend. As long as they take me with them, so I can write a real review of the thing.
(This is even funnier when you consider that one of the founders of Panda Global goes by SamuraiPanda . . .)
Brace yourselves, folks, for DreamWorks Animation has delivered yet another Kung Fu Panda film unto our eagerly-awaiting eyeballs!
Those familiar with the Kung Fu Panda franchise (or basic reading comprehension skills) might well assume that this film focuses heavily on two things: kung fu, and at least one panda – and indeed, that more or less sums up the film. Anyone who comes to the theater expecting to see fancy martial arts and fuzzy, black-and-white conservation-funding-sinks will not leave disappointed. Actually, Kung Fu Panda 3 distinguishes itself from its predecessors in part by introducing more than one panda – a marked departure from the single-bear casting of the previous two films – elevating panda-kind beyond a token minority character. No doubt, pandas around the world will celebrate this historic moment in cinematography for generations to come. You know, assuming they have generations to come, and they don’t just all go extinct within the next few decades . . .
Aaand I just made myself sad.
*ahem*
Moving on.
The film opens (after an insufferable number of previews and assorted advertisements) with a beautiful display of shifting greens and golds as the late Master Oogway battles Kai, the film’s antagonist, in the spirit realm. Even beyond any discussion of the film’s narrative, its focus on color and aesthetics alone make Kung Fu Panda 3 worth watching. From the frigid whites and grays of the panda village’s mountain entrance to the eerie green glow that heralds Kai’s appearance, the artistic decisions behind Kung Fu Panda’s visuals remain on-point for the third consecutive film.
Plot-wise, the film holds up reasonably well as well. Admittedly, Kung Fu Panda 3, like most movie sequels, suffers somewhat from a loss of the concept behind the original film. Though watching Po actually lead the Furious Five with some degree of success is fun, it was his initial struggles to earn their respect in the first Kung Fu Panda film that really defines Kung Fu Panda as an idea. In other words, the first Kung Fu Panda works as a stand-alone story with a focused central concept in a way that the second and third do not.
Nevertheless, Kung Fu Panda 3 still tells an engaging tale, building on the themes and conflicts introduced in Kung Fu Panda 2 in regards to Po’s relationship with his fellow pandas. Even the infamous Wuxi Finger Hold from the first film makes a welcome return, and the way in which Po ends up using it makes for a surprisingly dramatic plot development. Ultimately, though it may not quite capture the excitement of a brand new film franchise, Kung Fu Panda serves as a solid third installment in the Kung Fu Panda film series. The art and animation are lovely, the characters are as likable as ever, and the film is well worth watching if you enjoyed the previous two movies.
The Shield 
